Rivers of Profanity

Ok, so I can still hear...just, but my ankle really is knackered. I certainly didn't see a "beer injury" coming out of last weeks activities but it certainly became a feature of it. It doesn't feel as bad as the Glastonbury (tournament not festival) injury but it is more colourful with lots of purple bruising about to turn a shade of nicotine yellow. For most of the week I tended to fall on my feet but by the end I was just plain falling over.

I was going to post up a photograph of the offending ankle but let's look at something more pleasant instead.



It's poppy madness in the garden at the moment, which is just as well because the flowers only last a day or two before all the petals drop off. Soon all that will be left is a haze of poppy skeletons with explosive heads bursting their seeds everywhere to continue their circle of existence.

So time for gig round up then. Ben Folds started the week of with an amazing set opened up for him by the brilliant and very honest Clem Snide. I most enjoyed Ben Fold's cover of Dr. Dre's "Bitches ain't shit" which you can see a version of courtesy of College Humor. As Lando C commented, "It was a river of profanity" set to the beautiful sound of a grand piano. Hilarious. I manage to get my mitts on some more gig memorabilia too (I hate that phrase - any suggestions?) stealing the set list from one of the roadies. I think I'm going to organise a set on Flickr for all my souvenir plectrums (plectri?), set lists, drumsticks etc.

U2 kicked off Tuesday. I had another one of those "being in the right place at the right time" moments when I saw a crowd of about 10 people legging it out of the stadium to a food enclosure.

The security guards outside were giving out yellow wristbands and I dived in for one. Lando C tried to hold me back saying "You don't even know what they are for...what are you doing!". "Are you kidding?" I asked. "Just get the bloody wristband and ask questions later!". It just so happened that these wristbands gave us access to the Ellipse pitt enclosure at the very front of the stage. Look forward in the enclosure and you will see Bono making his way towards you along a large catwalk. He is so close, you can touch his mullet. Look back from the enclosure and you will see 40,000 fans squished up against the main barriers behind you. They are so far away, you can hardly see them wanting to kill you.

Entry number two into the Paradise Circus: Best Kept Secrets 2005: How to really get into the Ellipse at a U2 Concert? Not this way. This way - When you see a crowd running together at a gig, you don't just let them pass you by, join them because they obviously know something you don't and you will really want to be in on it.

Greenday ended it all in explosive style. This gig was great but I am not sure I enjoyed it as much as the 70,000 people stood around me. After a while Billie Joe's "Come on England!" and "Waahay! Wayho" repeated in chant around the stadium started to wear a little thin. And when they started to cover "Shout" known mainly in the UK as a Lulu and hen night classic - I felt that I'd accidentally strolled into a Robbie Williams concert. Don't get me wrong, musically Greenday are right there right now, it's just that they have sold out a little on stage.

Entry number 3 into Paradise Circus: Best Kept Secrets 2005 - The Premier Inn, Furzton, Milton Keynes. If you are going to spend a small fortune on tickets to a gig at one of the UK's largest venues, why not go the whole hog and book a room at the nearest hotel by a lake within 5 minutes walk of the stadium. And when 35,000 cars try to leave Milton Keynes at the end of the event, don't be one of them stuck getting out. Head to the hotel bar, buy a beer and relax. Perfect!